One year ago, I wrote down in this >post< several things that I wanted to achieve in nonspecific time. Back then, I was scared to be on my own, to choose uni, to live my life in general. What happened in the meantime when I was away from this blog?
To be honest not much has changed. Well, at least the fact that I can mark off some of the things from the list is soothing(not that anything from the list is difficult to do anyway).
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To do list:
To do list:
keep my blog updated
leave notes in library books
write on bathroom stalls
visit Berlin
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>keep my blog updated
One year passed since my last update. It feels strange to actually read all the stuff on my blog all over again. At the very beginning of my blog I was posting kind of pointless shit trying to explain how I feel but it was rather full of clichés(including my f#cking url I hated since the first week of blogging) and never really into depth. It makes me kind of laugh at myself. Nevertheless, at this moment I have no intention to delete my older posts just because I don't find them meaningful. They are still a bit nostalgic, I remember exactly how I felt while I was writing each of these posts(including my hidden posts that I have never uploaded). I was always aware of the fact that my blog is nothing serious. I never really expected to attract larger amount of readers, all these clichés were supposed to help me(even thought they didn't do much), not the audience. This blog was updated in order to fill my shitty emptiness, to make me feel productive somehow...well, by writing pointless shit. Even though I've never really managed to keep my blog regulary updated(and I certainly never will), there were a few people that from time to time stumbled upon my blog, enjoyed reading it and waited for another post. It made me happy to read some of your kind messages and comments. So why I stopped posting...?
I don't have any problems to share my thoughts to the strangers on the internet but when it comes to sharing my thoughts to people I know, the feeling of anonymity disappears.
At some point it started to kind of creep me out because of my disability to be open to everyone. The fact that my friends or people I knew somehow ended up reading my blog was at first mmm okay, but this strange feeling about it eventually begin to discourage me from updating my blog. Basically, I have a public blog that everyone can read, but I didn't want people that I know to read it.
At some point it started to kind of creep me out because of my disability to be open to everyone. The fact that my friends or people I knew somehow ended up reading my blog was at first mmm okay, but this strange feeling about it eventually begin to discourage me from updating my blog. Basically, I have a public blog that everyone can read, but I didn't want people that I know to read it.
>leave notes in library books
I was mostly reading the books I bought from different antique book shops(recommendation: Shakespeare & Sons, Antikvariát 59, Antikvariát 11, Antikvariát Judaica, Polí5, Antikvariát Kant). I rarely visit libraries since I am not able to return books on time...and due to this bad habit of mine I have always ended up paying fine. Ironically, it is cheaper for me to buy the book in an antique book shop(and I can keep it forever!) than borrowing it in the library. I left some notes in a few of the books.
>write on bathroom stalls
Nope, should fix that.
>visit Berlin
Hopefully one day.
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In the meantime, I have read books and seen films that made me seriously emotional and changed the way I see the world. I learned how to make coffee and became a barista. I left my job. I always wanted to study art, literature, psychology or sociology. I applied for too many schools and in the end I picked one of them. Currently I am studying Sociology and the Social Anthropology at the uni. I became a part of physical art theatre movement and my first theatre performance will take place at the Centre for Contemporary Art in Prague...I am saving money in order to be able to vanish from my hometown and explore asian forests and temples next summer.
Still nothing changes the fact that most of the time I feel detached from everything around me and it makes me constantly tired. Yet the melancholy is just something unexplainably mesmerizing and thrilling that made me fall deeply in love with my solitude. What is beautiful but also tragically devastating and tearing is the ability to share this solitude with someone.
Thailand temple I will visit next year - Wat Rong Khun
Beautiful details of Wat Rong Khun
Beautiful rice fields in Vietnam
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Dammit, another pointless post.
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